|VAMPIRE THE MASQUERADE-REDEMPTION|
|TOO MUCH VTMR|

|BACK|

You know you've played too much Vampire when...
1. You refuse to put a motorcycle helmet and riot shield on your character because you just can't imagine your vampire running around with those items - even though they help save your character's butt once and a while.
2. You remove all weapons from you character's grasp before they walk out into the streets of London, even though all the pedestrians are completely oblivious to your characters' looks.
3. You're upset because you can't talk to every NPC that happens by, because they might just know that one piece of information on how to attack that darn Lasombra Haven.
4. You wince and cringe at the thought of having to drop Christof's humanity by 5 points so that he can start using those cool death spells and unholy armors, even though it seems to have no effect on the current game.
5. You sit at work trying to determine which clans your fellow employees would be and then give up, realizing they're all humans.
6. You go about in daily life saying things like "To the abyss with thee," and when someone irritates you or when you respond to a mistake someone has made by calling them "fledgling" with all the disdain your voice can muster.
7. You start speaking in "thee's" and "thou's" when addressing someone. When you agree with someone, instead of saying "yeah," you say "aye."
8. You beg and plead with your wife to let you name your firstborn son Christof.
9. You wonder just how many points you would need in appearance before that cute guy/girl will go out with you.
10. You view coffee as a healing potion.
11. You go outside on a sunny day and start hissing and shouting "THE LIGHT, IT BURNS ME TO ASHES!!"
12. You go and get your teeth capped to look like vampire fangs so you can spook the crap out of the delusional homeless people that sleep on the streets.
13. The water of life now burns you.
14. You hear your co-workers complain about how bad chain mail is and you reply no chainmail is actually wonderful before you realize they mean chain letters.
15. You and your significant other begin trying to think up disciplines for everyday occurances. Example. I cast the discipline of "Thou shalt not pull out in front of me on the highway."
16. You call for your husband by his character name.
17. You wake up in front of the keyboard sometime in the afternoon (after playing all night), shrug and continue playing.
18. "Hey man, come on in...you're late."
    "Yeah, uh...well, I stopped at the 7-11. They're out of orange juice. I'm telling you, I'm dying for some..."
    "You may draw the precious orange juice from my refrigerator to sustain thee."
    "...uh, thanks..."
19. You are surprised when your front door doesn't glow yellow when you wave your hand in front of it.
20. You are turned on by nuns.
21. You try to sell stuff from your pockets in each store you visit.
22. You are convinced that you can never go underground without heavy armor.
23. On your back you are carrying 5 jackets and a flashlight.
24. You start emoting things in real life. If I was going to frown I wouldn't do it. Instead I'd say "frown."
25. You go to every site in existence that even mentions VTM.
26. You and your significant other have a fight in a VTM game and electrocute one another with Call Lightning, laugh, and then zap each other again.
27. You go to your computer and automaticly start Vampire and then realize that's not what you were going to do.
28. You start to bite people in the neck every time you're thirsty.
29. You start to say "nay" instead of no and "m'lady" to your mother.
30. You are always running around at night crying out "Anezka!!!"
31. Rats begin to look appetizing.
32. Your neighbors look delicious.
33. You attempt to order vitae at rave clubs.
34. 5 swords, an axe, and a full suit of platemail are all somehow strapped to you.
35. You call crazy people Malkavians.
36. You go to the bar for a few "lick-sticks."
37. You're afraid of science labs because you think the Society of Leopold is after you.
38. Instead of laughing, you say "LOL."
39. You hit someone and cry out, "To the abyss with thee!"
40. You're buying a t-shirt and look for a tag that says something like (Lethal +10, Bashing + 20, Aggrivated + 5.)
41. Someone threatens you and you try to set them to talk mode.
42. Your girlfriend dumps you, so you look for a previous SAVE so you can give it another try.
43. You go knocking on the back of vans, looking for Otto.
44. You go to an art museum, and look for Toreadors.
45. You hear a noise, and think an Assamite or Nosferatu is standing out of sight behind you.
46. Your boyfriend calls you "M'lady." Or if you're a guy, your girlfriend calls you "M'lord."
47. You list your clan and rank (Neonate, Ancillae, Elder, etc.) on your résumé.
48. You wish life came with an AI button that you could turn off.
49. You make up nicknames for things in the game. For example, you call rats "mickey snacks" after Mickey Mouse.
50. You make big elaborate websites for this old game.
51. Your VTM play CD lives in your CD-ROM drive.
52. You play the VTM mp3's in WinAmp constantly.
53. You wish you could watch a recording session for VTM music because you're sure someone has to yell, "Cue the Monks!" for the theme.
54. You wait until the last minute to do things because you swear you have Celerity.
55. You always bow when you meet someone.
56. You can't kiss a loved one except from behind, on the neck.
57. You plan a trip to Vienna to see the Tuetonic Knight base.
58. You try to stuff a burning torch into your pocket.
55. You always bow when you meet someone.
59. You see that it's a foggy day and attempt to insert the -nofog command because your 3D card is rubbish.
60. You pick up rats while walking down the street.
62. You wave your hand before any barrels you see to check if they'll turn red.